Kierkegaard’s Ghost
(News that’s fake, but credible)
Dear children:
Books are dangerous. They can make you sad. They can confuse you. Books can make you question the wisdom of your elders who love you and only want the best for you. That is why the adults in your life are busy removing books from your school libraries. We here at Kierkegaard’s Ghost know you understand that thinking is a dangerous activity and not something you should be doing by or for yourself at your tender age. We know you understand that your parents, your schools, your churches and your government know far better than you do what you should be reading and what you should be thinking about. That is why they are working so hard to rid the world of books and the harm they do. Nevertheless, in spite of all this hard work on behalf of those who love you, books remain a significant threat to your wellbeing. Books are still accessible to you in places like public libraries, book stores, online book sellers such as Amazon and at used book distributers like thriftbooks.com for reduced prices. You might even run across them in your parents’ personal library. Thus, to further protect you and help you avoid exposure to thoughts, ideas and information that should not be infecting your innocent minds, we are providing you with a list of the most dangerous books identified and banned in your schools.
List of books not to be read by children or young people.
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.
Asking About Sex and Growing Up
These are some of the most dangerous books. But remember, all books are potentially dangerous. If you find a book, treat it as you would a bottle with a skull and crossbones on the label. DO NOT open, examine or even read the dust jacket. Also, please note that we may inadvertently have failed to delete links to these books that might inform you of their authors, their contents and the ideas they contain as well as to places from which they might be obtained. As mature and responsible children, we are confident that you will not take advantage of our carelessness to get your hands on these books and pry into matters your elders deem inappropriate for you.
Very Truly Yours,
Staff of Kierkegaard’s Ghost
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