Tag Archives: history

An Open Letter to My Fellow Christians in Uniform

Dear Siblings in Christ:

I am appealing to you in the name of the Prince of Peace to make a bold witness to peace. You have been schooled, I know, to recognize that Christians may in good conscience participate in wars deemed just. The current attack by the United States on the nation of Iran is not just under any of the criteria established as necessary by the church to justify engagement in military conflict. The requirement of satisfying each of these criteria prior to the grave decision to use lethal military power has been recognized by Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, Martin Luther, John Calvin and continues to govern the church’s thinking today. As people of faith and as soldiers sworn to defend your nation, resistance to this murderous abuse of military power against Iran is critical.

Let me explain more about what I mean by “just war criteria.” In the first place, a just war can only be declared by a “competent authority.” The attack on Iran took place without any legal declaration of war by the United States Congress. It was launched by the unilateral decision of President Trump without any congressional approval or even consultation.   

In the second place, lethal military action must never be undertaken unless there is a reasonable “probability of success.” The president has given no indication as to what the goal of this war is, much less any estimation of its probable success. We know from prior experience, however, the consequences of invading another country under the pretext of its having “weapons of mass destruction” and seeking to effect “regime change.” We have seen this movie before. It does not end well. The case has not been made that the attack on Iran will produce a different result or a more just, safe and prosperous world.

In the third place, the case must be made that resort to military action is the last possible resort. Because negotiations were ongoing during this sudden and unprovoked attack, it is impossible to accept any claim that it was a last resort.

Finally, a just war must be fought for a just cause. Of course, every nation always believes that its aggression is justified. However, the rationalization for war from a Christian perspective can never be solely for recapturing things or land taken or for punishing people who have done wrong. The most recent formal statement of the just war tradition given by the U.S. Catholic Conference in 1993 states that force may only be used to repel aggression or to intervene to prevent an imminent and massive violation of basic human rights of whole populations. That is clearly not the rationale for the attack on Iran. The intent is, as was the case in the attack against Iraq decades ago, to address unfounded claims that the enemy possesses weapons of mass destruction and that the government in Iran must be replaced by one amendable to the national interests of the United States and its allies. These aims clearly do not constitute “just cause.”

I am appealing to you because you are powerful. You have agency. You are not merely cogs in the murderous machinery of a corrupt and violent regime. You know that military discipline and ethics amount to more than “just following orders.” I know that you took an oath to defend your country against all enemies foreign and domestic. The way for you to fulfill that oath today is to lay down your arms and refuse to fight. Your duty is to reject and publicly condemn the illegal abuse of military power by our president. That is the only way to stand up for the rule of law. That is the only way to defend the constitutional rights of Americans here at home and to end the needless loss of human life abroad. I know I am asking you to put your reputation, your career and even your freedom on the line. Yet because you have promised to put your very life on the line in defense of your country, I do not hesitate to call upon you to make these lesser sacrifices.

More importantly, you are followers of Jesus, the man who refused to resort to the sword in his defense. For you, the decision to engage in military action always carries with it the fearful knowledge that the persons whose lives are lost in the conflict are people for whom Jesus died. If military action is ever to be justified, it must be carefully, thoughtfully and fully evaluated under the strict criteria I have just discussed. Resort to war under anything less is simply mass murder. In the name of Jesus, I am calling upon you to take a stand for the defense of your country, to take a stand for the rule of law and to take a stand for peace.

Praying for you at this most difficult time in your lives and careers,

Rev. Peter A. Olsen (retired)

Secretary JFK, Jr. Declares TDS A National Health Emergency

Kierkegaard’s Ghost

(News that’s fake, but credible)

This is a public service message from the staff of Kirkegaard’s Ghost. Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., has declared a recent spike in the spread of Trump Derangement Syndrome to be a national health emergency. As always, the Ghost stands with our government in its efforts to make America healthy again. Accordingly, we are sharing this important announcement with our readers.   

We all know that Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) is rampant among radical liberal snowflakes, treasonous Democrat politicians and the sick lame stream media talking heads. In case you are assuming that that, as a loyal MAGA Trump supporter, you are immune from this serous mental condition, think again. Lately, there have been troubling signs that TDS is making its way deep into the heart of Red State America and infecting even our most loyal foot soldiers with doubts about our Dear Leader. This threat is too serious to ignore. TDS, also known as sanity, can quickly erode that undivided loyalty to MAGA you have spent decades cultivating. Here are some of the symptoms accompanying the onset of TDS:

  • You are beginning to doubt that Tylenol and vaccines are responsible for causing autism.
  • You are wondering how a windmill can possibly cause cancer.
  • Donald Trump’s sentences are starting to sound logically, grammatically and factually incoherent.
  • You look at news footage from the love fest at our nation’s capital on January 6, 2020 and see only rioting and vandalism.
  • You start to question how a dead guy from Venezuela could possibly infect United States state operated voting machines unconnected to the internet with a virus changing presidential votes.
  • You wander into a Haitian neighborhood and can’t find a single restaurant serving dog or cat meat.
  • You cannot see the dramatic drop in the prices of food, housing and rent announced by the Trump administration in your neighborhood.
  • You cannot find the best insurance coverage ever that our Dear Leader’s administration promised on day one of his administration.
  • You start to think the rambling of that crazy, leftwing, deranged radical cousin of yours is actually making sense.

These are just some of the symptoms indicating that TDS or sanity is beginning to affect your brain. You should not treat any of these symptoms lightly. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to protect yourself against the onset of TDS.

  • Disconnect from any and all lame stream media. Some well meaning MAGA folk have exposed themselves to these demented talking heads with the misguided notion that listening to and understanding them will help them defeat their arguments. Precisely the opposite has resulted. Never underestimate the power of a new idea! It can stretch your brain and put it on new tracks of thinking that could turn out to be irreversible.
  • Avoid facts. Nothing undermines the blind faith our Dear Leader requires faster than exposure to facts. Facts only cloud and confuse the issues. They sow doubt and undermine loyalty. If you have been exposed to troubling facts, you need to contact one of our Truth Social stations immediately to arrange for prompt treatment. Fortunately, we have a large store of alternative facts with which we can rewire your brain before the actual facts have a chance to impart irreparable learning.
  • Break off all communication with your relatives, friends and co-workers who are already infected with TDS. TDS has proven to be highly contagious. Exposure to infected people, even for short periods of time, can lead to cognitive contamination with dangerous thoughts and ideas that can permanently increase your knowledge, vocabulary and understanding.
  • Protect your children. Public schools are swamps filled with troublesome facts, novel ideas and, above all, dangerous books. The best way to protect your children from infection with TDS is to take them out of school altogether. We highly recommend home schooling where your children will absorb only the truths you drill into them. Discourage reading or, better yet, don’t teach your kids to read. Remember that the best defense against TDS is illiteracy.
  • Practice MAGA mindfulness. Go to a safe room in your house insulated from all outside influences. Light a candle, put on Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A., wrap yourself in your Trump flag and go into a gentle rock. Empty your head. Imagine your brain shrinking back to its normal pint size as you let go of those troubling facts, challenging ideas and perplexing thoughts.

Of course, the best defense against TDS is simply to avoid contracting it in the first place. That is why we urge all the MAGA faithful to stay inside the bubble. TDS is no laughing matter. Too many of our people have succumbed to it and slipped into the incurable state of sanity. Don’t you be one of them!   

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FAKE NEWS ALERT: The above article is satirical. The events it describes didn’t happen.  “There are people who will say that this whole account is a lie, but a thing isn’t necessarily a lie even if it didn’t necessarily happen.” John Steinbeck