Kierkegaard’s Ghost
(News that’s fake, but credible)
The Ghost recently learned that Kristi Noem, Homeland Security Secretary is recruiting members of the Iranian Republican Guard for positions at ICE. The following draft promotional ad was obtained by us from an unnamed source who wishes to remain anonymous.
Attention members of the Iranian Republican Guard:
We have watched with admiration how thoroughly and efficiently you managed to put down the violent, left wing, radical enemies from within attacking your own country. As you probably know, we have a similar problem in many parts of our own country, particularly in Minnesota. We are calling upon you at this time because our Immigration Customs and Enforcement (ICE) needs men with your training, commitment and expertise. We are looking for men who are not afraid to use their guns. We are looking for unsentimental guardians of law and order, men who have the steely resolve to shoot the mother of six year old child in the face, to shoot an unarmed man in the back as he lies face down on the street, to look into the face of a trusting little puppy and blow its sweet little brains out. We need men who are free from the vices of empathy, ethics and pity. If you are one of those men, there is a future for you at ICE. In addition to a good salary, full benefits and a $50,000 sign on bonus, we can arrange payment for your travel to the United States and a fast track path to citizenship. So what are you waiting for? Call us today and begin your new life in the land of opportunity!
Kristi Noem, Homeland Security Secretary
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Peter's Outer Cape Portico 
Sad right now that the cruelty and disregard for law she exhibits gets her kudos from the insiders, while the rest of us are appalled.
Plus the Iranian Republican Guard are idiots if they believed something like this – citizenship would not be offered once they came in and did the job, and were not needed any more.
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